If You Have Food Allergies Say This!

Be BOLD like a cicada-pipe the heck up!  ~Maureen Connolly

I love this quote about speaking up- and when you have food allergies you have to learn to speak up.  Speaking up is one of the best tools you have to keep yourself or your kiddo safe.  I learned very early in our food allergy journey that advocating for yourself is so important. Even when it might seem scary or even intimidating, speaking up will help to keep you safe and thrive on with food allergies!

If you have food allergies here are four things you should be saying:

"I have food allergies"
If people don't know that you are managing food allergies they may inadvertently put you at risk.  I have found that most people are willing to help or make accommodations if you let them know, but people sometimes just don't know what they don't know.  Sharing your food allergies and stay safe strategies with an attitude of cooperation and collaboration will keep people aware and ultimately keep you safe. 

"Can I read the label?"
Label reading is critical- if you have food allergies you need to be reading labels.  ALL.THE.TIME.  Don't be afraid to ask to see a package or label so you can verify if it is safe.  If there is no label or you are unable to verify ingredients or processing (if you manage for that too) skip it!  When in doubt go without!  And, check out one of my #thriveonthursday posts about label reading here.  

"Do I/we have my epis?"
Wherever you go, whatever you do, you should have your epis with you!  How many?  Two, yes two.  They send them as a 2-pack for a reason because you should always have two with you at all times.  Develop a strategy for you or your family to always remember your medicine.  We have opted to hang a hook by our door.  My daughter's epis hang there all of the time.  As soon as we enter the house they go on the hook, and when we leave we have to walk by them so is a reminder to grab them as we head out of the house.  And, we always know where they are when we are in the house because they are always on the hook. 

"I can!"
When you have food allergies it can be easy to focus on the things that you can't have or can't do.  But, the reality is you can eat and do so much!  Even if your list of allergens exceeds 15 there are still hundreds of other foods you CAN have.  Make an "I can eat" list and refer to it often, especially when you feel like you are getting in a rut and eating the same things over and over.  Apply "I can" to activities too.  Yes parties, social activities like dining out, and travel can present some challenges but it is possible with a little advanced planning, prep and creativity to do all of those things.  Check out my blog post about dining out for one strategy to turn eating out into an "I Can" activity. 

So, friends, speak up and Thrive On!

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Need help living your best life with food allergies?  I can help you Thrive On! 
Learn more about me and my company, Thrive On Consulting, which provides food allergy coaching and training.  You can also follow me on Facebook for tips to Thrive On with food allergies.


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Check out #thriveonthursday - Every Thursday check out my Facebook page where I share a tip for thriving on with food allergies!

Food Allergy Anxiety and School: Tips to Thrive On

The new school year is upon us and for families with food allergies this can be an especially stressful time as we work to once again educate teachers, administrators and school staff about how to keep our children safe.  For me personally, this is one of the worst times of the year as I worry about how things will be managed. I can feel my anxiety rise as we get closer to the start of school.  I try to actively manage my anxiety so that my daughter enters school excited and feeling safe, but this is no easy task!

We are still early in our school years, but I know that managing food allergy anxiety- at this time of year and throughout the year- will be critical for our family to Thrive On with food allergies. 

To get some answers on managing food allergy anxiety I interviewed Dr. Jeanne Herzog of Summit Psychology Clinic.  Dr. Herzog is one of only a few psychologists nationwide who specializes in food allergy anxiety management.  She has worked with numerous patients with food allergies, presented on food allergy anxiety at the national level and was a featured webinar presenter on this topic for FARE.   She will also be speaking at the FARE Teen Summit later this year.

Dr. Herzog shares some wonderful insight into how to recognize and manage food allergy related anxiety for both parents and children, as well we strategies to discuss with your school to assist in managing anxiety.  I hope that you will learn as much as I did from Dr. Herzog!

What are signs that your child might be experiencing food allergy related anxiety at school?

Kids and teens with food allergy related anxiety can express it in obvious ways or in more discreet ways.

Obvious ways:

• Talking often about their worries
•  Asking often about safe foods and safety precautions
• Appearing scared or saying they're scared to go to school
• Calling home often from school with worries about their food allergies
• Crying, isolating, refusing to eat at school 

Less obvious ways:

• Increased complaints of stomach aches, headaches, other illnesses
• Excuses to isolate or choosing not to participate in school functions
• Unexplained academic or homework issues
• Peer relationships seem to change
• Moodiness, including sadness, anger, easily frustrated
• Change in eating habits, controlling behaviors

What can you do before school starts to alleviate some food allergy anxiety for your child?

If your child is attending the same school as the year before, the level of anxiety is likely to be lower, especially if the child felt safe last year.  However, even a new classroom or teacher or new classmates can increase that anxiety.  Summer is a time when a child may find comfort in being able to rely on parents to keep them safe.  It is best to, again, prepare a child to be an advocate for their own safety (age related) during school hours, when parents are not there, by rehearsing the emergency care plan and the plans provided for them at school.  It may help to meet with the new teacher in the new classroom and go over the emergency care plan and accommodations prior to school starting. 

If your child is attending a new school (moving, transitioning to middle school or high school, etc.) the change can be anxiety-provoking for both child and parent.  Parent and child should prepare together by making arrangements with the school regarding safety, the emergency care plan and any accommodations required. If there is any way to find out if any other child entering the school also has food allergies, this can reduce anxiety as there is truth to "safety in numbers." 

Kids (and parents) feel less anxious when they know that people care.  When those around them know and care about the dangers and follow rules to make the school safe, children living with food allergies feel safe, calm and more confident in their ability to keep themselves safe.  This also connects them to the school in a positive way, which contributes to a child's academic achievement and self-esteem. 

Any preparation that widens the circle of people in your child's life who care will be helpful in reducing anxiety.  

Is there anything in particular you should communicate to school staff regarding food allergy anxiety so they can assist in managing it throughout the year?

Much is communicated about physical health and safety, which is primary, but often little is talked about regarding how the food allergy makes a child "feel" emotionally, especially in terms of keeping safe at school.  I think administrators and teachers (as well as parents of kids without food allergies) are starting to do a good job in some schools to show that they take food allergy safety seriously and that they care.  But, many are unaware of how anxiety plays a part in the life of a child with food allergies (and the parents). 

If your child tends to be anxious about food allergies, it's best to share this with appropriate school staff so that they can watch for signs and together you can come up with strategies that can help your child.  School staff should be taught that each child with food allergies utilizes a small amount of anxiety in order to be diligent and cautious.  And, it is common for some children to become even more anxious when they cannot control the environment with diligence - for instance when others around them are eating food containing their allergen.  Children also commonly feel anxiety about how living with a food allergy affects their social world.  Sometimes they worry about being "left out." 

As a parent, what strategies can be employed to help manage our own anxiety around sending our child to school with a food allergy?

Managing anxiety so that parents and children continue to be diligent and cautious, but still allow themselves to enjoy life and relax, is crucial.  A parent who does a good job of managing anxiety in themselves sets a good example for the child.  There are many ways to manage anxiety.

Having a plan to manage anxiety is critical.  This should include accepting the challenge bravely and proactively working to educate your child and those who care for your child.  However, it is also critical to maintain balance and find identity outside of your life with food allergies.  It is also important to adopt strategies to allow you to calm your mind and your body when anxiety occurs.  Some examples include:

• Think about what you CAN do, instead of what you CAN'T do.
• Since anxiety is about fear of loss of control, rehearse the things over which you DO have control.
• Rehearse the things that are consistent and predictable in your environment.
• Remind yourself that every day we are working on normalizing an environment for those with food allergies.
• Name the people who "understand" and care about your allergy.
• Calm your body using: gentle touch, relaxation exercises, belly breathing (sit or lie comfortably, relax your shoulders and chest, inhale to the bottom of your lungs, which causes your diaphragm to push your belly out, exhale while pulling your belly back in, breathe slowly for 1-3 minutes while focusing  on each breath sound.)
• Get your body moving with a walk, activities, play and sports.
• Play, play, play!
• Ask for a hug from someone you trust.

When should you seek professional help for food allergy anxiety?

When your anxiety or your child's anxiety seems to be affecting physical health or is seriously interfering with functioning or happiness please seek professional help.  One can also seek the help of a professional before anxiety increases so that a child or parent can get coaching on how to manage emotions and situations as they arise. 

When you and your child have a relationship with a therapist who understands the possible anxiety and stressors of living with food allergies, that therapist can become a great resource for managing the emotions related to the various transitions in a child's life - school, friends, dating, adulthood, etc. 

Click here to learn more about Dr. Herzog.

Click here to view the FARE webinar featuring Dr. Herzog for more great information on managing food allergy anxiety.

If you find this post helpful learn more about Tami and her company, Thrive On Consulting, which helps families and individuals managing food allergies, and follow her on Facebook and Twitter

Food Allergies and Luck

It is March- shamrocks, leprechauns and wishes for good luck are everywhere.  But what does this have to do with food allergies?  I think it is a lesson in luck.  Luck is defined as, “success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions”.  One thing is certain, when it comes to food allergies you cannot leave your safety to luck.  Being thoughtful, prepared and taking intentional action will help you Thrive On.  This week my Thrive On 3 is all about steps you need to take to stay safe- don’t leave it to luck!

Carry 2 EpiPens® at All Times
No matter where you are going or what you are doing, if you have a food allergy you have to have your EpiPen® with you.  Severe reactions can escalate in minutes and being without your epinephrine could have dire consequences.  Don’t risk it- keep your emergency medications with you.

Last year, there were multiple times that I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and learned of yet another food allergy related death. As I read these stories with tears streaming down my face from sorrow for the families to fear about my own daughter’s safety, one thing frequently struck me in these stories- often the person did not have their epinephrine with them.

Yes, there are challenges to carrying around medicines, but at the end of the day I would rather have an inconvenience than an irreversible outcome.  There are a number of great carriers out there.  We use the AllerMates Allergy Medicine Case.  It fits two EpiPens®, our antihistamine and includes an ID card with contact information.  We have had the case for two years and it is still in great condition despite the fact that it is transported everywhere and passed off multiple times throughout the day at school to teachers, cafeteria staff, and car pool monitors.  Frio offers a great insulated bag for summer time heat when it is essential to keep your epinephrine temperature controlled.  Some other great carrier options are offered by Allergy Apparel and Epi Essentials (check these out for older girls- so stylish and functional!).  Also, if you register for the My EpiPen® Program through Mylan they will send you a free carrying case.

These are just a few of the many options available.  No matter how you choose to carry your emergency medications, a fancy carrier or a simple bag or pocket, the important thing is that you carry two EpiPens® – everywhere, all of the time.

Be Your Own Advocate
One of my favorite songs is Brave by Sarah Bereilles.  In it she sings, “Say what you wanna say, And let the words fall out, Honestly I wanna see you be brave.”  I love these lines and think this is so true when you have food allergies.  Sometimes you have to be brave to speak up and make a situation safe.  It can be uncomfortable, but you have to advocate for yourself or your child.  No one else will do it, or do it in the way that you can armed with information about your allergens, medicines and strategies for keeping you safe.

Don’t apologize for your allergies, speak the truth and inform people about what needs to happen, or not happen, to keep you safe.  Do it in a way that promotes collaboration and partnership.  Going in defensive, which admittedly is extremely difficult not to do sometimes, will ultimately work against you.  Yes, you may be frustrated, scared, and sometimes even mad that things are the way they are, but take the time to advocate in a positive and productive way.

Come prepared to discuss facts, offer alternative solutions and go in with the attitude that a positive outcome is possible.  Most importantly, do it- advocate for yourself or your child.  Say what you need to say- I want to see you be brave!

Educate and Build Your Village
We have all heard the African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child”.  I have found this to be true time and time again, and especially since our food allergy diagnosis.  As much as I like to think of myself as a “superwoman”, I have learned you cannot manage your food allergies in isolation.  You need support from your village!

I have also learned that people just don’t know what they don’t know.  I think back to before our diagnosis- I am sure I took unsafe foods to the park and didn’t wash my daughter’s hands after eating all of the time.  All things that are unthinkable to me now.  I do the right thing now because I am aware, because I am educated.  Part of building your village is making sure that people know what they need to know- about your allergies and how to keep you safe.

It has often been my experience that when I take the time to educate on food allergies people are more than willing to help make accommodations or be thoughtful about what foods they serve.  It can be as simple as a call to someone before an event to training your caregivers on how to keep your child safe while you are away (Need help with that? Check out my blog post for FAACT on Food Allergies and Caregivers).

Brainstorm who is in your village- family, friends, school personnel, babysitters, neighbors, restaurant staff, camp counselors….develop your list.  Once this list is defined make sure your village is aware and prepared to help you and your child Thrive On!

Luck is great, but your safety is not a game of chance.  To Thrive On with food allergies, you need to be prepared and have people around you who are also educated and ready to assist in managing your food allergies.  If you need help educating your village or developing ways to advocate for yourself let me know- I am here to help you Thrive On!

Product Disclaimer:
Thrive On Consulting does not sponsor or endorse the products listed.  Nor has Thrive On Consulting been paid to include these products.  Products mentioned here are provided as ideas and suggestions to help you Thrive On with food allergies.

If you find this post helpful learn more about Tami and her company, Thrive On Consulting, which helps families and individuals dealing with food allergies, and follow her on Facebook and Twitter