My Food Allergy Silver Linings

I have been reading a lot about gratitude lately and how good it is for your mental state. Gratitude puts you in the state of mind to appreciate what you have, and feeling thankful leads to more positive feelings…which all sounds great.  But, can you really be grateful for food allergies?  I mean let’s be honest, there have been multiple days that food allergies have brought me to my knees- when I had to pull off the highway when my daughter was having a reaction and I had to rush her to the closest hospital, when she came home in kindergarten in tears because she had to sit alone at the peanut free table, when I had to tell her no to a fun social event with all of her friends because it was just not a safe situation for her- yep, those were pretty terrible days.  If I could, I would give anything to take her allergies away.

But, when I stop and reflect on this food allergy life that we live there are things to be grateful for despite the intensity with which we live everyday to keep her safe.  When the day-to-day stress of food allergy management starts to bring me down, I try to think about these things, my silver linings to our food allergy life.

Healthy Eating 
I cook a lot and I buy a lot of fresh ingredients that have one or only a few ingredients.  I’d like to think that I would still cook this way if we didn’t have food allergies, but I know the lure of the drive-thru and packaged convenience foods would be too strong on busy nights and weeks with hectic schedules.  Because of our food allergies, we cook almost every night (and my daughter is becoming a pretty good cook herself!), we keep ingredients simple- and our entire family is healthier for it.

Developing the Ability to Really Talk to My Daughter
Food allergies force you to be aware and vigilant and our sweet little babies learn at a very young age how to tell people about their allergens, ask about ingredients, and advocate for themselves.  This doesn’t happen on its own, it happens because of the many conversations we have with our kids.  I feel like my daughter has learned, very early on, that I am her champion and her sounding board.  She and I have been able to work together to solve her food allergy issues and I am hopeful that as we head into the waters of the tween and teen years she will know that she can count on me for not just food allergy support, but for anything she needs.  Food allergies have forced us into hard conversations and the need to come up with creative solutions- we are a team and for that I am grateful.

Friendships That Sustain Me in Tough Times
I am so grateful for the friends we have the truly get our food allergy life.  Even if they don’t fully get it, because they don’t walk in our food allergy shoes every day, they make every attempt to understand it and support us.  Friends who call to check ingredients, who keep it safe so no one is excluded, who check in on me to see how I am doing.  When I am feeling drained and exhausted from the ongoing slog of daily food allergy management a simple act from a friend can bring me to tears of gratitude.

Finding the Courage to Do the Things I Need to Do
More than a few times I have had that awful pit in my stomach in anticipation of what I was about to do…make that request, ask for something to be changed, say no…all to keep things safe.  I am not generally a shy person, but food allergies have given me tremendous courage to use my voice and say what I need to say.  With a shaky voice and sweaty hands, I have done it! I have had the hard conversations, made the difficult requests and I have done it because there is no other option- her safety is the most important thing.  I am grateful for the courage I have mustered to do the things I need to do.

Will I say that I am grateful for food allergies?  Never. But what I can say is that I am grateful for some of the dimensions food allergies have added to our lives.  What are your food allergy silver linings?



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