The new school year is upon us and for families with food allergies this can be an especially stressful time as we work to once again educate teachers, administrators and school staff about how to keep our children safe. For me personally, this is one of the worst times of the year as I worry about how things will be managed. I can feel my anxiety rise as we get closer to the start of school. I try to actively manage my anxiety so that my daughter enters school excited and feeling safe, but this is no easy task!
We are still early in our school years, but I
know that managing food allergy anxiety- at this time of year and throughout
the year- will be critical for our family to Thrive On with food
allergies.
To get some answers on managing food allergy
anxiety I interviewed Dr. Jeanne Herzog of Summit Psychology Clinic. Dr. Herzog is one of only a few psychologists
nationwide who specializes in food allergy anxiety management. She has worked with numerous patients with
food allergies, presented on food allergy anxiety at the national level and was
a featured webinar presenter on this topic for FARE. She will also be speaking at the FARE Teen Summit later this year.
Dr. Herzog shares some wonderful insight into
how to recognize and manage food allergy related anxiety for both parents and
children, as well we strategies to discuss with your school to assist in managing
anxiety. I hope that you will learn as
much as I did from Dr. Herzog!
What
are signs that your child might be experiencing food allergy related anxiety at
school?
Kids and teens with food
allergy related anxiety can express it in obvious ways or in more discreet
ways.
Obvious ways:
- Talking often about their worries
- Asking often about safe foods and safety precautions
- Appearing scared or saying they're scared to go to school
- Calling home often from school with worries about their food allergies
- Crying, isolating, refusing to eat at school
Less obvious ways:
- Increased complaints of stomach aches, headaches, other illnesses
- Excuses to isolate or choosing not to participate in school functions
- Unexplained academic or homework issues
- Peer relationships seem to change
- Moodiness, including sadness, anger, easily frustrated
- Change in eating habits, controlling behaviors
What
can you do before school starts to alleviate some food allergy anxiety for your
child?
If your child is attending
the same school as the year before, the level of anxiety is likely to be lower,
especially if the child felt safe last year.
However, even a new classroom or teacher or new classmates can
increase that anxiety. Summer is a time
when a child may find comfort in being able to rely on parents to keep them
safe. It is best to, again, prepare a
child to be an advocate for their own safety (age related) during school hours,
when parents are not there, by rehearsing the emergency care plan and the plans
provided for them at school. It may help
to meet with the new teacher in the new classroom and go over the emergency
care plan and accommodations prior to school starting.
If your child is attending
a new school (moving, transitioning to middle school or high school, etc.) the
change can be anxiety-provoking for both child and parent. Parent and child should prepare together by
making arrangements with the school regarding safety, the emergency care plan
and any accommodations required. If there is any way to find out if any other child
entering the school also has food allergies, this can reduce anxiety as there
is truth to "safety in numbers."
Kids (and parents) feel
less anxious when they know that people care. When those around them know and care about the
dangers and follow rules to make the school safe, children living with food
allergies feel safe, calm and more confident in their ability to keep
themselves safe. This also connects them
to the school in a positive way, which contributes to a child's academic
achievement and self-esteem.
Any preparation that widens
the circle of people in your child's life who care will be helpful in reducing
anxiety.
Is
there anything in particular you should communicate to school staff regarding
food allergy anxiety so they can assist in managing it throughout the
year?
Much is communicated about
physical health and safety, which is primary, but often little is talked about
regarding how the food allergy makes a child "feel" emotionally,
especially in terms of keeping safe at school.
I think administrators and teachers (as well as parents of kids without
food allergies) are starting to do a good job in some schools to show that they
take food allergy safety seriously and that they care. But, many are unaware of how anxiety plays a
part in the life of a child with food allergies (and the parents).
If your child tends to be
anxious about food allergies, it's best to share this with appropriate school
staff so that they can watch for signs and together you can come up with
strategies that can help your child. School
staff should be taught that each child with food allergies utilizes a small
amount of anxiety in order to be diligent and cautious. And, it is common for some children to become
even more anxious when they cannot control the environment with diligence - for
instance when others around them are eating food containing their allergen. Children also commonly feel anxiety about how
living with a food allergy affects their social world. Sometimes they worry about being "left
out."
As a
parent, what strategies can be employed to help manage our own anxiety around
sending our child to school with a food allergy?
Managing anxiety so that
parents and children continue to be diligent and cautious, but still allow
themselves to enjoy life and relax, is crucial.
A parent who does a good job of managing anxiety in themselves sets a
good example for the child. There are
many ways to manage anxiety.
Having a plan to manage
anxiety is critical. This should include
accepting the challenge bravely and proactively working to educate your child
and those who care for your child. However,
it is also critical to maintain balance and find identity outside of your life
with food allergies. It is also important
to adopt strategies to allow you to calm your mind and your body when anxiety
occurs. Some examples include:
- Think about what you CAN do, instead of what you CAN'T do.
- Since anxiety is about fear of loss of control, rehearse the things over which you DO have control.
- Rehearse the things that are consistent and predictable in your environment.
- Remind yourself that every day we are working on normalizing an environment for those with food allergies.
- Name the people who "understand" and care about your allergy.
- Calm your body using: gentle touch, relaxation exercises, belly breathing (sit or lie comfortably, relax your shoulders and chest, inhale to the bottom of your lungs, which causes your diaphragm to push your belly out, exhale while pulling your belly back in, breathe slowly for 1-3 minutes while focusing on each breath sound.)
- Get your body moving with a walk, activities, play and sports.
- Play, play, play!
- Ask for a hug from someone you trust.
When your anxiety or your
child's anxiety seems to be affecting physical health or is seriously
interfering with functioning or happiness please seek professional help. One can also seek the help of a professional before anxiety increases so that a
child or parent can get coaching on how to manage emotions and situations as
they arise.
When you and your child
have a relationship with a therapist who understands the possible anxiety and
stressors of living with food allergies, that therapist can become a great
resource for managing the emotions related to the various transitions in a child's
life - school, friends, dating, adulthood, etc.
Click here to learn more
about Dr. Herzog.
Click here to view the FARE
webinar featuring Dr. Herzog for more great information on managing food
allergy anxiety.
If you find this post helpful learn more about Tami and her company, Thrive On Consulting, which helps families and individuals managing food allergies, and follow her on Facebook and Twitter
